Previously affected, but not currently experiencing

It's important that people who have been affected by family violence in the past know that if they face this again, they'll be heard, believed and helped.

Things to say

Here are some things you can say when someone tells you they've been affected by family violence in the past:

'Were you believed and were you able to get support at that time?'
'Did you tell anyone at the time?'
'That experience wasn't your fault, and it's not fair this has happened to you.'
'No-one should be treated like you've been treated.'
Ask about any recent separation, protection orders and child custody issues, and any other family court matters that may indicate ongoing risk.
'Is there any support you need at this time?'

Do

thank them for answering your questions and sharing their story. Let them know that if circumstances change, support is available. Find out what support they have now, and offer additional support if required.
bear in mind that at times of separation, risk of family violence escalates.
offer leaflets, websites and other information, but check it's safe for the person to take this away with them.
offer to be their contact person if they need help in the future.

Don't

pressure people to disclose family violence, nor assume that the person currently wants your support. They may not consider that they need any further support, and this should be respected.
demand specific details or try to investigate family violence that has occurred in the past.

Next steps

Find a specialist family violence service provider who matches the needs of the person you are helping.

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