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Most people will need to attend a Parenting Through Separation course, Family Dispute Resolution, or both before going through the Family Court.
You and your child's safety come first when trying to sort out parenting disagreements outside the Family Court. If you or your child are experiencing family violence, some of these services may not be right for you.
Use our tool to find a provider for Parenting Through Separation course or for Family Dispute Resolution mediation.
You don’t have to be going through the Family Court to use these services. They may help you sort out any parenting disagreements, so you don’t have to go to the Family Court. This could by quicker, cheaper and less stressful for you and your whānau.
The course you need to attend depends on the type of application you’re making. If you’re thinking about applying to the Family Court, you may find it helpful to talk to a lawyer.
This free course provides parents, guardians, and whānau with practical advice to help understand and manage the needs of children after a change in family situation or separation. Parents and guardians attend different courses, so everyone has the space to freely express themselves.
The course is held in small groups led by an experienced facilitator. The course takes four hours, which may be held in one session or over two 2-hour sessions. The course will help you work out what’s best for your children based on your situation. To do this, the course covers:
The course is a great first step to take when you’re working through parenting arrangements. You may find the course will help you to resolve any disagreements. This may mean you won’t have to go through mediation or the Family Court.
People who have done the course have said they found the course helpful:
“Found the course very helpful and facilitators were very supportive. Was good to be with others going through the same things. The information was very good covering everything you need.”
This service helps parents, guardians, and whānau agree on how to care for their child without going through the Family Court.
To get the most from Family Dispute Resolution, it is recommended you attend a Parenting Through Separation course first and start thinking about a parenting plan. Family Dispute Resolution can play an important part in helping you to make positive arrangements for the care of your children and help you complete your parenting plan.
Before your first session you’ll have the chance to discuss your situation with a duty mediator. This is called an initial assessment and may happen over the phone. The duty mediator will:
After your initial assessment, the mediator will contact the other parties and confirm they’re willing to take part. After this, the mediator will work with you to schedule your first session and identify how many sessions they think you’ll need.
The mediator will also consider the best way to have your child’s views included during mediation. This is so your child can have a chance to say what they think about the arrangements being considered.
You may be asked if you’re comfortable with your child talking to another professional who has a lot of experience working with children. This professional will meet with your child to listen to their views and help you understand what they think. They will only meet with your child with permission from you, your child, and the other parent, guardian or whānau member.
During mediation both parties will meet with an independent family mediator. They’ll make sure everyone has the chance to be heard. The sessions will focus on the decisions you need to make about the care of your children. For example, who they live with and when, where they go to school, and holiday arrangements. The family mediator won’t force you to agree to anything or decide anything for you. They’re trained to help you agree, and not take sides.
You can bring a support person to your session if everyone agrees - ask the family mediator before the session.
If you don’t qualify for funding, you may have to pay something for the service.
To learn more about our Family Dispute Resolution suppliers, please see the below brochures:
Fair Way Resolution Ltd - English brochure [PDF, 1.5 MB] and Te Reo brochure [PDF, 1.5 MB]
Family Works Resolution Service - English brochure [PDF, 385 KB]
Family Dispute Resolution Centre - English brochure(external link)
The family mediator will give you an Outcome of Family Dispute Resolution form. This will show the outcome and that you went to Family Dispute Resolution.
If you all agree, the family mediator will write it down and give you all a copy. This helps to make sure everyone understands what they’ve agreed to. If everyone agrees, you can use this as your private parenting agreement. You don’t need to do anything through the Family Court.
Sometimes, you may need to apply to the court to turn your parenting arrangements into a court order. This could be because you think you may need the court to enforce the ‘Parenting Order’ later.
If you can’t agree after going to mediation, you can apply to the Family Court to decide for you.
You must include the Outcome of Family Dispute Resolution form with your application to the Family Court. This form states what has been agreed and what hasn't.
Recent legislative changes mean that from August 2023 children must now be given the opportunity to participate in Family Dispute Resolution if the decisions will affect them.
The Ministry of Justice is working with Family Dispute Resolution suppliers to improve current practices. This includes looking at how mediators will engage with whānau and the children involved, to ensure children:
We have resources available in different languages and alternate formats. Select the language or alternate format to get the resources relevant to this page.
Going through a change in your whānau situation can be hard. It's normal to feel overwhelmed. There are services available to help and support you through this time.
Visit our help page