1. Understand family violence

What is family violence

Understand family violence

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Overview

Family violence is sometimes called domestic violence.  It is when a person harms or controls a family member, or someone they’re in a close and personal relationship with (family relationship). The harm or control can be physical, emotional, psychological, financial or dowery related, sexual, or a combination of these.

The Family Violence Act 2018 says family relationships include:

  • spouses or partners — regardless of if they are married, in a civil union, living together, or dating
  • any family or whānau relationship
  • people who share a household, for example flatmates
  • any people in a close personal relationship – including people in close care/carer relationships.

If you’re in immediate danger, call the police on 111

Find information about Family Violence specialist services on our help page. If you need to leave this website quickly, use the quick exit button at the bottom of the screen.

Getting help for family violence

Family violence is a pattern of behaviour

Family violence can be a single act or a pattern of behaviour that causes harm, and that harm adds up over time for the person being targeted. This can be physical, emotional, psychological, financial, sexual, or a combination of these. It doesn’t always include physical violence.

Family Violence Act 2018 - legal definition of family violence(external link)

Examples of controlling behaviour and emotional abuse

Family violence can include controlling behaviour and emotional abuse.

Examples of this are:

  • controlling someone, including:
    • their finances
    • who they see
    • what they wear
    • how they spend their time
  • damaging someone’s relationships or reputation
  • stalking someone in person or online
  • calling someone names
  • putting someone down
  • manipulating or intimidating someone.

How to know if you’re experiencing family violence

Sometimes it can be hard to know if you’re experiencing family violence. Visit the AreYouOK website if you’re not sure.

The ‘Check it out’ tool can help you understand:

  • if you’re being treated safely and respectfully in your relationship
  • different types of abuse
  • where to get help.

AreYouOK – Check it out tool(external link)

Find information on family violence specialist services on our help page.

Getting help for family violence

Feeling overwhelmed?

There are services available if you need help or support for family violence.

Visit our help page to find specialist family violence support